Why People Who Don’t Use Phones All the Time Lead A More Meaningful Life

Prepare yourself for a bit of a rant.

I spent much of January, 2011 in Costa Rica on a study abroad trip. I returned with many vivid memories, such as staring into a volcano, hiking down hundreds of stone steps to a stunning waterfall, zip lining through misty clouds above a breathtaking rain forest, and eating dinner at a cliff-side restaurant overlooking a starlit valley.

But perhaps my favorite memory, the one I miss the most, is the moment I locked my cell phone in the hotel safe—where it lurked for the rest of the trip.

Don’t get me wrong. Phones are useful. But somewhere along the way, people seem to have stopped viewing phones as a means to an end and started treating them like little rechargeable deities. I say “little”—these last few years phones have hit a growth spurt. Society needs to make up its mind. How can you expect me to wear skinny jeans when I’m trying to transport a phone that’s as big as my face? But I digress.

Anyway, assuming you’re like me, and you can spend an hour sans cell phone (without hyperventilating), let’s indulge in a playful little tribute to ourselves. Here is why the few of us who can survive an awkward pause without a cellphone conversation are wonderful.

1. We know how to have an actual conversation.

Don’t you love it when you’re telling a story and the listener pulls out their phone? Some would argue I’m just a bad story teller, but I choose to blame phone addicts. If you were talking to me and I turned to talk to someone else, you would be annoyed right? So how is it any different when you start reading a text? Why are the text thoughts more important than mine? I’m the one who cared enough to actually spend time with you. And don’t give me the classic line “Keep going, I’m still listening.” I’ll bet you are.

2. We can go on an actual vacation.

I love cruises. So much. And one of the many reasons is everybody leaves their phones in their rooms and tries to remember how to be a human being—at least while they’re on the ship.

Earlier this year, my wife and I went on a cruise that debarked in Cozumel. We hitched a ride to the nearest beach; and while I swam in the crystal clear water, bounced sky high on floating trampolines, and tried to conquer my crippling fear of marine life, my beautiful wife took advantage of the beach’s free wifi. Because apparently that’s a thing now. Free wifi. At the beach.

3. We can tell you who won the game.

I will never understand this. How can you spend big money on concert or sports tickets and waste the whole show looking at your phone? Explain that to me. I took a college class from the GM of a minor league baseball team. He explained a growing struggle in live sports is keeping people’s attention on the action instead of their phones. Hence all the wacky dance contests and t-shirt bombardments during timeouts.

4. We’re less stressed (according to research).

In a study conducted at the University of Missouri, Time Magazine reports students’ “blood pressure and heart rate increased” when their cell phones “started ringing across the room but they were unable to answer them.”

In a different study, “high mobile phone use was associated with sleep disturbances and symptoms of depression for the men and symptoms of depression for the women.”

And since many of us use our phones to browse through social media sites, I’ll give you one more. Elite Daily reports, “New research suggests people who don’t use Facebook are happier than the average person who uses the social networking site regularly.”

5. We don’t ruin movies for everyone around us.

Remember when the first “turn off your phones” reminder showed up in movie theaters? At the time, it didn’t seem that necessary. Now, the movie warm up routine is basically preview, “turn off your phone,” preview, “turn off your phone,” opening credits, “turn off your phone.” And it still doesn’t work! I was at one theater that encouraged people to install an app that puts your phone on “movie mode.” Are you kidding me? Your phone already has a built-in movie mode. It’s called “silent,” and it’s not hard to activate.

Confession Time

I may have come on strong in this post, so let me land this plane with a little humility and a dose of encouragement.

I’m a recovering cell phone addict. My particular app of choice was Clash of Clans. I would rearrange my entire schedule and mistreat the people around me in service to that game. But thanks to a five day cruise (I told you cruises were wonderful), I broke the habit. Then I went a step further. I’ve recently changed the settings on my phone’s work email account so it won’t sync unless I tell it to manually. This gives me access to my work emails when I want, instead of letting them constantly interrupt my evenings and weekends.

If you find yourself feeling shackled to your cell phone, consider the research and know that, at least in my case, life has been more fun ever since I took control (minus a few days of withdrawal).

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Great Activities To Do With Your Kids This Fall

Autumn is a favorite time of year for many. It’s not too hot, not too cold. All the fall colors look beautiful against a blue-sky backdrop. And there’s nothing like the sound of dried-up leaves crunching beneath your feet. So seize the day and get out with your kids before the snow flies!

Here are 8 great activities to do with your kids this fall:

1. Go to an apple orchard. The best apple orchards have so much to do. You can take hay and pony rides, taste and pick apples, drink fresh-squeezed apple cider, see farm animals, get all sticky as you devour caramel apples, run freely through fields or just sit back and watch it all.
2. Bake apple crisp. Using kid-safe peelers, have a contest to see who can peel the longest continuous piece of apple skin. Let your kids measure and mix the apple crisp ingredients. Then play a card game like Uno, Go Fish, or Old Maid while you enjoy the delicious scent of your apple crisp baking. Serve the fresh-baked dessert a la mode and with caramel topping.
3. Get lost in a corn maze. You’d have to fly yourself and your kids all the way to Europe to see some of the world’s most renowned hedge mazes. Get a similar experience for a fraction of the cost by checking out a local corn maze. When you get there, let the kids lead you through the narrow channels and dead ends. Pretend you’re counting on them to help you find your way out before nightfall. Cheer together when you reach the exit and celebrate with some fresh-popped kettle corn.
4. Jump in a pile of leaves. Don’t ask your kids to help you rake. It sounds too much like a chore. Instead, have all the rakes, work gloves and leaf bags ready outside. Then — just before your kids tell you they’re bored — challenge them to see who can make the biggest pile of leaves to jump in. Bring your camera for this great photo op, and beware of doggie do.
5. Build a scarecrow family. Now you have a great use for your torn-up old jeans and shirts that are way past their prime. Stuff ’em with some of the leaves you’ve just collected to build scarecrows. Display them in front of your house and passersby will surely do a double take.
6. Take a nature walk. Get away from the concrete jungle. Find a place where you can walk with your kids that has no cars, buildings, or power lines in sight. Pretend you’re Hansel and Gretel trying to find your way home, or Little Red Riding Hood bringing a basket full of food to Grandma. Let your kids set the pace during the walk, reminding yourself your walk is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy every minute of this special time with your sweeties, and lose yourselves in the wonder of the view, fresh air, foliage and wildlife.
7. See a play. Once you’ve spent time playing with your kids, take them to see a play. It doesn’t have to be at a big, fancy — expensive — theater either. Check out the plays showing at schools near you. They’re quite entertaining. Or find out when your local theaters offer pay-what-you-can performances or cheap seats. Be sure to reserve them in advance.
8. Feed the birds. Pick out a bird feeder with your kids, along with birdseed and all you need to hang it outside your window. Keep the bird feeder stocked throughout the long winter months and delight in watching the birds eat their meals outside while you enjoy yours indoors.

On the surface, it might seem like we need to come up with elaborate plans to show our kids a good time. Wait for these, and the fun times you have together will be few and far between. So instead, think of simpler ways you can make memories with your kids everyday. They grow up so fast. Enjoy every second of their precious childhood while it lasts.

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5 Type Of Tools To Save Money For Your Business

There has never been a better time to conserve your resources than now. We live in a technological age when things are not only meant to be faster and easier, but also cheaper. For entrepreneurs who are forward thinkers, saving money for their businesses should be a priority. Certainly tapping into certain tools to save money for your business will help your business run more smoothly without you always looking over its shoulder in terms of finances. Here are five types of tools to save money for your business.

1. Mobile payment systems

Evolving from the good old days, mobile payment systems have become more reliable for businesses to tap into. Yes, you can find such technology in small boutique shops to restaurant chains. With payment tools likeIntuit’s GoPayment, payment has become more flexible for the customer and more cost incentive for the business owner, who can use this cash register system to accept payments through nearly any smartphone. With this payment tool, your business can travel easier and can effortlessly take payments for your goods and services.

2. Cloud-based groupware

If you want to be more enterprise-focused but don’t want to pay for an Exchange server, cloud-based groupware could be the answer for your business. You may also want to go beyond just getting by with the standard Gmail and Drive. For your groupware needs, you could try Zoho and Google. Zoho offers several tools on its platform that can help you expand your business in a number of ways. Cloud-based groupware could be one valuable tool that does not drain your company budget.

3. Website builders

Having capable hands to help build your website could be beneficial to your business. It’s wiser to make use of website builders instead of relying on website design companies. The truth is that you have to consider the ranking of your website, cost, and efficacy when you are thinking of building a website. This is why it is important to be meticulous in your choice of who you hire to take charge of building your website.

4. Crowd sourcing

You may call it amateurish or undependable but you will be amazed at how many individuals and companies are using this tool to achieve their cost effective goals of funding their projects. Crowd funding or crowd sourcing can be a very helpful tool in helping to get your business off the ground and expanding on other projects for your organization. Crowd funding can be achieved through channels like Fundable and Kickstarter. If you are a business owner, you can use this unconventional medium to get your business off the ground and save on using the more traditional approaches to getting funding for your business.

5. Linux and Open Source

What Linux and Open Source have been able to accomplish during the past couple of years is to establish a more concrete business interaction between customers and hardware. It has been able to prove that more can be done with a user interface rather than the traditional process of simply a Start button or a task bar symbol. Linux and open source are actually business-ready platforms that prove that businesses can work with tools like human resource management, customer resource management, and other similar resources. Otherwise, such resources might not be accessible to business owners. By helping businesses attain more and save more money, the Linux server or the desktop has proven to be a valuable tool for businesses.

Although not all these tools can prove beneficial for your business, you should understand that there are many tools out there that are not only applicable to your business but can help you save more money and work more efficiently.

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Tips To A Better And Healthier Sex Life

Over 70% of women and 25% of men admit to faking orgasms and this is not healthy. How do you help your partner experience genuine pleasure, so he or she does not have to fake? I have easy changes you can re-introduce in your sex life to make it happen.

1. Express desire to help

It’s important to be supportive to your partner especially if they opened up about faking her orgasms. Openly express your willingness to help your partner explore their wants and put yourself out there by learning what turns them on. And offer assurance every step of the way.

2. Diversify your sex life

Make sure that intercourse is not the holy grail of your sex life. Normalize mutual masturbation or masturbation – observation. It will help you when you feel tired and not in the mood but your partner is fired up. Masturbation will also help build up your sexual endurance and help men last longer.

3. Introduce new sex toys

Having sex toys is vital. Women need clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm. There are great toys that a woman can use for the stimulation while having intercourse. Buy a great lube that is safe with the sex toy material. It will also help prevent painful intercourse due to lack of lubrication. Coconut oil is amazing and can also be used for a sensual massage during foreplay.

4. Take the mind off the clock

Don’t have sex for orgasms. There is more to sex than just an intercourse and orgasmic finale. Make sure you have sex without an expectation of intercourse. This will remove performance pressure from your partner.

5. Ask and learn technique

Avoid blaming game. Many of you caress your partner in the way you want to be caressed, which often differs from what they really want. However, there is a difference between asking for help and an obnoxious attempt to pique your partner to give you information.

6. Tune-up sexy talk

There is no need for dirty talk if it pushes you or your partner outside of your comfort zone. Introduce any talk to your sex life. Compliment your partner on their way he looks or kisses your neck. You have to tell you partner what you would like to have more of that in your bedroom.

7. Be active in the bed

You can’t expect your partner to relax and get juicy if you are tense and silent yourself. Passion in contagious. Show your partner that you love having sex with them. Only a few of you say to your partner that you miss having sex with them, not just sex on its own.

8. Turn-on the heat for a great warm-up

There are so many articles out there that discuss the importance of foreplay. However, where this advice gets you is you still are having boring liner sex. Passionate sex is a lifestyle. It starts outside of the bedroom. Text your partner teasing about the night to come. Go for a walk and unexpectedly go for a slow dance.

9. Communicate your turn-ons

Are you open with your partner about your sexual desires and wants? You can’t expect your partner to be honest if you don’t do the same. Lead by example.

Make sure to implement of these tips starting today. Your relationship deserves time and effort. Have fun and be open to finding out that you were doing something that was not working for them.

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7 Powerful Exercises for Couples to Build Mutual Trust

Trust is a fundamental part of every healthy and happy relationship. In relationships, the best way to convey trust is with communication—it is the best way to let your partner know how you are feeling. However, trust is a process that takes time. Once you have earned someone’s trust, you can then maintain it with communication and honesty.

If you are looking to improve trust in your relationship, try a couple of these exercises with your partner to strengthen your bond.

1. Tell your partner a scary secret.

No doubt you and your partner have shared amazing moments and memories where you have shared a part of yourself with them and they were happy you did. It is very likely that there are still things that you have chosen not to share with your partner, and a great way to build trust in your relationship is to share one of your scary secrets. Your honestly and vulnerability will strengthen the bond and the trust in your relationship.

2. Make eye contact with your partner for 3 minutes.

This may seem like a silly or intimidating trust exercise, but the openness of the activity will emotionally connect you and your partner. Set a timer for 3 minutes, sit on the couch and get comfortable, and then gaze into each other’s eyes. You may laugh a little, but that will only make the activity more fun!

3. Make your actions match your words.

The most important part of trust is consistency. The best way to create a trusting bond between you and your partner is to be reliable and honest. Remember that trust cannot be built in a day—this is a trust exercise that you can commit to for your full relationship. A good way to build this trust is to set a date night every week, and always show up on time. This shows your partner that you are committed, consistent and reliable.

4. Tell each other why you love each other.

Often people in long term relationships can start to take each other for granted. They don’t mean to do it, but it results in their partners feeling rejected, lonely—and less trusting. Counteract this with gratitude by taking it in turns to tell each other why you fell in love with each other – and why you are still in love with each other. You can either set a timer for a few minutes each or you can each list 5 things about the other. Make sure you choose a method that you are both comfortable with.

5. Ask for forgiveness.

No one is perfect, and often people do little things during relationships that they feel guilty about, like telling white lies. Squash your guilt by opening up to your partner about anything you feel bad about, and then communicate calmly to forgiveness. If you feel nervous, remember that opening up creates trust, and keeping secrets can destroy trust.

6. Ask how you can restore trust.

Once you have asked for forgiveness, you should ask your partner “How can I make up for it?” This shows your partner that you are more than sorry; you also want to show you that you know you made a mistake, but you are invested in improving your relationship. Listen carefully to your partner’s response to make sure you are both on the same page.

7. Say “I love you.”

After you have had a serious conversation with your partner, it is always beneficial to tell them that you love them and that they are important to you. It shows that the discussion was a positive one, and that nothing has changed. Remember that these conversations can be emotionally draining, so it is very likely your partner is craving affection.

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6 Things Only Dads With Daughters Would Understand

One of the greatest moments in my life was the day my daughter was born. While a lot of men wish for a son to throw a football around or share a love of cars with, raising a girl can be equally rewarding. Here are the reasons why having a daughter has been one of the most fulfilling life experiences for me.

She can be taught how to do anything she puts her mind to

Having a daughter carries a lot of responsibility, especially with making sure she does not feel limited by her gender. Early on my wife and I discussed the importance of raising our girl to be open-minded to anything and everything that interests her. I especially wanted to make sure that she felt competent to play any sport or excel in math and science at school, areas that are usually thought of as more male-focused pursuits.

She is influenced by her parents’ relationship with each other

A daughter is aware of how I treat her mom and how we balance our relationship within the context of our daily lives. I try to make sure that she sees that I do my fair share of the chores and help out around the house with cooking and childcare. It is important that she experiences firsthand parents who strive to have equality both professionally and at home as well. My hope is that when she gets old enough she will take a similar model with her own relationships.

She needs me most during her teenage years

She has a few more years, but I know that when my daughter becomes a teenager this is the time she needs me the most. I have heard from other dads how difficult these years can be with their daughters, but I am determined to stand by her thick and thin. I know that I will not be able to be much help in the female department with periods and new body changes, but I will make sure that she knows I am there to lean on whether she is going through her first heartbreak or having trouble with friends.

She needs to learn how to stand her own ground

One of the most important things I can teach her is to be assertive and fight for what is right. This is a essential trait that will benefit her throughout her entire life. Whether she is being told she is not talented enough or teased for a certain way that she appears or thinks, there is no stronger weapon than teaching her how to fight back with her words.

She flourishes from sharing her interests with you

I have realized that it is important to show interest in the activities and hobbies that she enjoys, even if it is something that does not interest me in the slightest. When my daughter was younger she loved playing with her toy horses, creating elaborate stables for them out of building blocks and spending hours galloping the around the living room. What made her even more happy was the moments that I joined her on the ground and participated in her make-believe world. I have made it my duty as she grow up to continue to be present for all the things that she loves to do, whether it is a dance recital or a soccer game.

She needs to hear that she is smart as well as beautiful

Telling my daughter she is smart is one of the most important phrases that I can say to her and it never will grow old. It is important as a dad of a daughter to not only complement her on her outward appearance, but also encourage her intelligence and remind her that looks are not as important as what is inside your mind.

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If You Want Your Children To Succeed, Do These 6 Things

Seeing your child grow up to be a success is the ultimate goal of a great parent. But raising your child in a way that ensures they achieve that success is certainly not easy. It requires patience, perseverance, dedication, and the confidence that all of your efforts will be incredibly worth it when you finally see your children actualize their potential. If you want your children to succeed, you need to:

1. Teach them social skills

Although humans are naturally social beings, social conventions are not inherent and therefore must be taught. A study conducted by researchers at PSU and Duke University showed that children who showed the ability to cooperate with and help their peers, as well as understand their emotions and work out their own problems, were more likely to experience success as they grew into adults than children who did not exhibit these social skills. Children who were not taught skills such as cooperation and patience were also more likely to end up incarcerated or abusing drugs and alcohol.

2. Have high expectations

Children will rise to their parents’ level of expectations, so it’s important to set the bar high. A study by a UCLA professor of over 6,000 kindergartners showed that when parents believe their children will end up attending college, the children perform much higher on standardized tests than children whose parents are indifferent to higher education. An overwhelming 96% of children whose parents saw college in their future performed higher than the rest of the cohort.

3. Attain higher levels of education

Not only should parents have high expectations for their children, but they should also have high expectations for themselves. A study conducted at the University of Michigan found that children are most likely to attain the same level of education their parents have over the course of their lifetime. Unfortunately, this means that those who become pregnant as a teenager and do not pursue a college education, or do not complete their high school studies, are likely to raise children who end up dropping out as well. Parents who set the bar high for themselves will in turn have great expectations for their children as well.

4. Build a solid relationship with them

All of the previous points made throughout this article can only come about if parents foster a caring, nurturing relationship with their children. Doing so lays the foundation on which a successful life can be built. By building a solid relationship with their children, parents can begin teaching them the social and life skills needed to succeed. They can also maximize their children’s potential by setting high expectations early on to ensure their children get a head start in life. Finally, by being there to celebrate their children’s accomplishments, parents can instill in their children the notion that the reward for hard work is the successful feeling that comes over you after having reached a specific goal.

5. Be less stressed out

Parents who are constantly stressed, whether from work, school, or family life, will ultimately pass this stress along to their child. A decent amount of stress can be a healthy motivator, but too much stress can be incredibly detrimental to your health. “Helicopter parents” are those who are so stressed out about their children’s lives that they become much too overprotective; by doing so, they add stress to their children’s lives with every step they take. As a parent, you’ll undoubtedly face many stressful situations in your life. However, you must never allow your child to know just how close you are to your breaking point.

6. Value effort over innate talent

Pointing out your child’s gifts is natural for parents. Knowing your kid is an incredible musician or athlete should definitely make you proud. However, praising your child for a gift they were born with may actually be doing them a disservice. They may start to develop a fixed mindset, meaning they either believe they’re naturally good at something, or not good at all. On the other hand, praising a child’s effort when completing a specific task will nurture a growth mindset: the idea that they can become good at anything they put their all into. By cultivating a growth mindset in your children, you change their way of thinking from “I can’t do this!” to “I can’t do this…yet!”

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